Be Conscious, Be Yourself

I believe that true consciousness of the self – a consciousness that you are prepared to allow to shine out – is the main ingredient in your amazing existence. 

This is when it all comes together – confidence, style, friendships – every facet of that illustrated life I’ve been talking about.

There are many opportunities in life to show people our ego. The challenge of self-acceptance, true confidence, and a life that is amazing, is to make these opportunities, instead, to show our real selves; until we are no longer even conscious of a difference, until we are one being, to ourselves and everyone else, inside and out.

When I say ‘ego’ this doesn’t have merely the traditional association of arrogance, it can also mean a facade that is underselling us. For the purposes of this article, the ego is merely a falsified self, which we dole out to the world in place of our real selves.

Being conscious of our real selves entails many things: it means listening to our bodies, noticing our reactions to certain situations, and being aware of when we thrive and when we pale so that we can adapt our situations to suit us best. Most importantly, it means accepting the self we are simultaneously uncovering and creating.

Summary:

♥ True consciousness of the self brings all the elements of your amazing life together

♥ Your ego is your falsified self; your challenge is to replace this with your real self

♥ We must be aware of and accept our real selves to find our most amazing situation

Homework:

Discover what your 'Real Self' would do.

Draw a line down the centre of a page in your journal, labelling one ‘Ego’ and one ‘Real Self.’ I’m going to give you four situations, and in each column I want you to write how your current ego would behave, and how you would really like to behave. If they match up, great! You’ve travelled so far in this journey and your amazing life is really coming together. If they don’t match, there’s still a little work to do.

1. You’re in a debate or argument, you know you have an excellent idea but there are a lot of big personalities talking all at once and you’re not sure you could back up your claim. Do you say nothing, or bite the bullet and say your piece whatever the outcome?

2. Whilst shopping you spot a stunning dress within your budget. It isn’t your normal style and is perhaps a bit dressy for everyday wear. Do you opt for a more sensible, plain style which won’t make you stand out, or throw caution to the wind and decide this is your chance to make a statement with your clothing?

3. You spot an advert for a job which has a great rate of pay and is exactly the kind of thing you’d love to do, but you don’t have every skill they list, and you know loads of people will apply for such a great position. Do you let it go, or apply anyway, deciding you’ll dazzle them regardless and simply chalk it up to experience if they reject you?

4. Whilst on the bus, a beautiful girl comes to sit next to you. She is dressed in a sparkly, interesting outfit and gives you a big smile. You can hear her iPod playing one of your favourite songs, and she pulls out the very same book you currently have on your bedside table at home. Do you feel intimidated that she is so much prettier and more expressive than you, or start up a conversation with the aim to make friends?

If you feel you would react differently to the reactions I’ve described, by all means write what you would do – just make sure you’re being honest! If your ego’s reaction and the action of your real self differ – how can you equip yourself to change this? Try to find the reason you aren’t reacting how you’d like to, and keep hold of this new found consciousness of your real self so that, when your ego reacts, you can strive to beat it.

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We are nearing the end of Make Your Life Amazing 2012 - and I hope you'll agree it's been a blast! How will you be using these last few days to cement all the work you've put in so far? Remember that if you fancy a FREE COPY of the Ambitious Happines eCourse you need to drop a little comment on this post.

Create Your Path

We talked yesterday about finding and following your bliss, but the focus was a little more on the finding rather than the following, so today we’re going to tackle that by creating your path.

Every destination has a path which leads to it, both literally and figuratively. Often our focus falls too heavily on the destination without really considering the path. This is a mistake. When we consider the path we need to take, we draw our destination nearer to us and we find that the stepping stones get closer together and easier to tread.

Your path is yours to choose, regardless of your current job, friends, background... It is where you go from here that counts. Your path is your mission. It is made up of both your big goals and your little ones. It is the road to your bliss, and it is as much a physical action as it is a powerful thought action; you have to start actually moving somewhere, rather than just envisaging your destination.

How often does the space between your waking up and going to bed feel like it has really gotten you anywhere? Do you regularly feel like the day has truly been a step forward on your path? When you have a path you are truly conscious of – one that you have purposefully manifested rather than stumbled onto by chance – each day becomes a step on that path, not merely a haphazard passing of time.

Summary:

♥ When we consider our path, we draw our destination nearer

♥ Your path is as much physical action as it is thought action

♥ Make each day a step forward on your path

Homework:

Your homework today is to form a sort of mission statement, but as we have done a lot of work focusing on what we want, and because we want to avoid too much focus on simply our aspired to destination, there’s a twist.

Imagine you are 100 years old, reflecting back over the events of your life; put yourself in the position of your ultimate destination and look back at what got you there. What will you have achieved? But, more importantly, how did you achieve it? What were the steps you took? How did it come about?

Write your mission statement backwards, and write it from an eye of having achieved it, thus removing any dithering on potential failure; you’re there, you’ve had it. Begin with an affirmative statement, begin with the destination, and then track back to where you are now. For example, mine might be:

“I am a successful and acclaimed writer with a whole bookshelf of published work. I have many close personal friends, a large, wonderful family, and a beautiful estate home in the countryside of a warm corner of the world.”

You don’t have to track back your steps in order; think of the things you will have to do as they come to you and arrange them chronologically once you have them. Most importantly, commit to visualising your path every day, really see it in its entirety, not just the destination; be conscious of it so that you are always moving forward and never sitting stagnantly.

How to Find and Follow Your Bliss

Firstly, what is your bliss? 

Your bliss is your absolute peak existence. Your bliss is your amazing life, and, unfortunately, I cannot sum up how to find and follow it within the boundaries of this article – that’s what I’m striving to achieve with this series in its entirety. What I want to do by familiarising you with your ‘bliss’ is to give you focus, and a real concept of what all your hard work in this series has been and will be for.

Your bliss can mean many things and come in many forms; you might find it in your relationships, in your career, in a particular place, in your most valued hobbies. Life is for finding it and following it and living it day in, day out, because it is what lights you on fire; because it helps you to really be an essential part of the world rather than merely a passerby.

To find your bliss, understand that it is already within you – it is a matter of inner questioning rather than an exterior hunt – and in most cases the key to finding it is to merely stop and listen to yourself. Believe that you are a channel of energy in this world, and that it is down to you how you shape and manoeuvre that energy into the best existence imaginable.

You must have the bravery to follow this path; you owe it to the world to do so. You are a living, breathing cause for hope; a fountain of inspiration to the people around you, and you do your human duty by giving your truest message out continually. But to follow your bliss takes chance and risk and moments of doubt where you want to turn back, so it is imperative to support yourself every step of the way, and that's what our journal has been for.

Summary:

♥ Your bliss is your peak existence; its importance lies in having a concept of what you are striving for in life

♥ Your bliss makes you an active part of the world, rather than just a passerby

♥ Your bliss is within you, have the bravery to follow it

Homework:

Find your bliss.

With the help of the previous exercises, your bliss may be already becoming clear to you; now is the time to set it in stone – not so you cannot change it, but so it is a fixed concept for you rather than an airy desire. As the above quote says, to find your bliss, it is necessary to start communicating with yourself. Considering it on a very basic level, without the skew of responsibility, practicality and approval: what feels like your bliss? Could you be brave enough to follow that? Why/why not? What stands in your way? Is this a real block or an imagined one?

Write in your journal 'My bliss is...' and show yourself evidence of your ultimate desire, being clear and to the point so that you know, if no one else, precisely what you're living for.

Once your bliss is down on paper, commit to taking at least one action a day that moves you closer towards it; from reading a part of a great book, to sending an important email, to taking a couple of hours as simply creative time... Be sure you are always following your bliss in even the smallest ways.